I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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