I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
