is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize