Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
