As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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