I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The air was thick with penises
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
