you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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