I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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