u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
