Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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