When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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