Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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