speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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