Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You're a waste of cheezeits
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
