How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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