i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
