just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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