thus making me awesome and them whores
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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