I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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