I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
