i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
