If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
No subtext here. People are naked.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
