the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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