Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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