I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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