3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
