There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
