is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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