I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The air was thick with penises
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
