Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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