that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
