Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
