bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
