Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
