Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
