do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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