So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
