Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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