Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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