Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
