That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize