There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
