my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
