all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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