I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
