I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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