I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize