That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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