do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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