Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
