don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
