Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
