Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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(818): my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you http://tfl.nu/x2i9

Replies (30) Good night (6066) Bad night (1080)
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(954): View more from Florida

pedialite and red bull = repair kit

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(954): pedialite and red bull = repair kit http://tfl.nu/fijn

Replies (22) Good night (3442) Bad night (801)
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(614): View more from Ohio

so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

(740): View more from Ohio

i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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(614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2

Replies (83) Good night (34665) Bad night (1776)
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(513): View more from Ohio

My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going

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(513): My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going http://tfl.nu/twm1

Replies (7) Good night (1045) Bad night (4753)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.

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(256): I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means. http://tfl.nu/u00p

Replies (7) Good night (3928) Bad night (931)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot

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(605): I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot http://tfl.nu/d13k

Replies (4) Good night (1664) Bad night (1208)
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(917): View more from New York City

He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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(917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7

Replies (6) Good night (1527) Bad night (656)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.

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(517): I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/jhvn

Replies (12) Good night (1797) Bad night (882)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first

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(312): Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first http://tfl.nu/6e2a

Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (1180)
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(719): View more from Colorado

there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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(719): there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants http://tfl.nu/vcqy

Replies (9) Good night (985) Bad night (827)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.

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(920): He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week. http://tfl.nu/0wxx

Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (344)
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(707): View more from California

Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.

(425): View more from Washington

I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.

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(707): Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning. (425): I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation. http://tfl.nu/7xvm

Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (539)
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(954): View more from Florida

You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.

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(954): You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one. http://tfl.nu/l0kb

Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (855)
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(347): View more from New York

Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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(347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw

Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (361)
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(714): View more from California

I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.

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(714): I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid. http://tfl.nu/3lar

Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (325)

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