therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
