This is not my ceiling
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.