eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee