this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?