Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

This is not my ceiling

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(310): View more from California

Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

(310): View more from California

Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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(925): View more from California

tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.

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(972): View more from Texas

He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.

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(415): View more from California

Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

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(970): View more from Colorado

Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty

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(503): View more from Oregon

Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.

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(734): View more from Michigan

You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.

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