im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Don't EVER smell your tampon
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.