On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
did you just send me my own nude
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
