If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
